Today I have come FULL CIRCLE! My sobriety anniversary is August 8, 2016! Eight years DRUG FREE! Jesus did it! Not me or anything or anyone else!!

A Hopeless Beginning

In May of 2015, I was depressed, suicidal, and addicted. With three infant babies and left all alone with zero help, I was extremely overwhelmed. I had a job that I was going to lose because I couldn’t get childcare, and my home was falling apart. So right after I delivered Ezra, my youngest, I picked up the pipe and went from recreationally/moderately using (being able to stop at will for long periods of time) to a full-blown addict.

I saw no hope for my future.

Then one day everything became too much for me to bear, I saw no hope for my future, and I hurt myself attempting to end it all. I was tested for drugs and since I was dirty, my children were removed. Worst day of my life. The following year was pure HELL. It is no exaggeration to say that I cried every day for hours. I purposely put myself in several dangerous situations hoping somebody would end my misery for me. I couldn’t get clean, and I couldn’t get myself to start my services to get my babies back. It’s all I wanted.

Shortly after that I had a panic attack one night in my minivan bawling my eyes out and hyperventilating, pleading with Jesus to help me. I told Him that I couldn’t do this by myself. He heard the desperation of my heart and had compassion on me and my journey to sobriety began. I ended up at Haven for Hope on August 8, 2016 and the night before was the last time I got high.

The Real “Most Valued Players”

This year, I feel the need to highlight the real MVPs behind the scenes of my success in sobriety and give the credit where it is due. My mom and my mother-in-law Diana took on the responsibility of caring for/fostering my two children in high school and my three infant babies. Their lives were turned upside down by myself and another person’s choices. They selflessly took on this challenge and went thru the rigorous task of jumping thru hoops for Child Protective Services (CPS).

BECAUSE of their selflessness I was able go thru exactly what I needed to to get clean for good. Since they were with family, in good hands, taken great care of, and most importantly LOVED, I didn’t have to make the decision to temporarily get clean for the sake of getting my kids back quickly just to repeat the same vicious cycle all over again which I sincerely did not want. Instead since I knew they were safe, it allowed the Lord to put me through the ringer (in love).

It was HELL getting myself out of that hole I dug myself into and I NEVER want to return or even toy with the idea of it. I went crazy in my addiction and my mom and mother-in-law had to endure that as well. Even with all that I put them thru, my mother-in-law was the one to pick me up my last day of rehab and take me to dinner and my mom let me stay with her. I’ve been tolerated and forgiven so much. I absolutely love these women. They are the strongest women I’ve ever known.

Hope for the Future

Today my children are thriving and I am beyond grateful. I am also thriving. I am heavily active in my babies lives, a professional, pursuing a college degree, and working on my career. I’ve gone from completely hopeless to having hope for the future.

Drugs ruined my life and many others I know. I have a disgust for drugs…ALL drugs…yes, even marijuana. The enemy uses ALL drugs to kill, steal, and destroy people and families. I continue to pray for those I love the most that are still in bondage. God is soooooo good! Jesus is the way maker and miracle worker!!

by Kristie Ortiz, 8 August 2024